12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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