I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
