Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
