Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
