Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
