We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
no you cant smoke seaweed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
