I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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