whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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