Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
