Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
