I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize