I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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