So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize