So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
