she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
