what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize