i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We are two peas in an std pod
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
