Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
