He kissed a someone with a penis
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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