is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
