I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm always down for nudity.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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