A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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