Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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