Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
