it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
