So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
