Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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