WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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