u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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