apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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