Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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