I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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