i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
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i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
