Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!

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  (210): ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math! http://tfl.nu/zdim
  Replies (11) Good night (1406) Bad night (529)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.

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  (719): I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment. http://tfl.nu/wmih
  Replies (15) Good night (3032) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.

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  (770): Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock. http://tfl.nu/ip50
  Replies (16) Good night (4146) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.

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  (504): I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car. http://tfl.nu/on2m
  Replies (10) Good night (2140) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile

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  (309): Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile http://tfl.nu/cr7n
  Replies (27) Good night (1158) Bad night (2624)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"

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  (407): I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt" http://tfl.nu/48bw
  Replies (14) Good night (3253) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins

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  (231): Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins http://tfl.nu/vh4d
  Replies (10) Good night (1570) Bad night (3107)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am

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  (973): America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am http://tfl.nu/1gc0
  Replies (8) Good night (7135) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.

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  (612): It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go. http://tfl.nu/kgh1
  Replies (7) Good night (855) Bad night (2124)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..

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  (204): The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off.. http://tfl.nu/csfy
  Replies (5) Good night (3770) Bad night (1587)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF

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  (260): He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF http://tfl.nu/3qis
  Replies (5) Good night (1834) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Congratulations on your lack of fetus.

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  (630): Congratulations on your lack of fetus. http://tfl.nu/ujd7
  Replies (4) Good night (1849) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.

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  (240): You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over. http://tfl.nu/m9ag
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

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  (925): i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking. http://tfl.nu/rb0f
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.

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  (716): I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons. http://tfl.nu/ab56
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (235)

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