marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
