Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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