Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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