I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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