He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
