they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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