forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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