airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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