she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
