Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
