tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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