I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
