Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize