I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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