You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
