That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
