i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
