wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
