I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
