Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
