Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
