Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
