he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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