on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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