once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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