Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
