dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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