just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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