I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
