That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
