it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
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It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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